Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
I have tasted many bathrooms
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
