I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
