also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
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