Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
