the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
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