My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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