Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
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