friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
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