11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
