Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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