I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize
