Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
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