More tranny stories later!
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Randomize
