Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
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