My balls are so social today.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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