idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Randomize
