What tipped you off? The sombrero?
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Randomize
