My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
