no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
