Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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