this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
