then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
