i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
