shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
