Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
