Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
