it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
where does the pee come out of this thing
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
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