guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
