and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I can't turn off my feet"
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Randomize
