i need an iv and a liver transplant
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
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