i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
