I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Randomize
