dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Randomize
