Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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