I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Randomize
