That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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