Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
you would pick up someone in the library
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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