hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
We had to coat check the pizza.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
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