He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
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