He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
