They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
But I just had this pork p�t�. It was dick grabbing.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
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