Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Randomize
