you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
