I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
she told me i tasted like america
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
