Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
I am puke
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
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