and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
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