But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
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