I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Green mimosas i think yes
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Randomize
