these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
But I just had this pork p�t�. It was dick grabbing.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
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