The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
But break dance skills will only take you so far
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Randomize
