i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
